bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

(via thetravelinghufflepuff)


iamtemporarytoday:

teatray-inthesky:

comicsncoolshit:

a bubble freezing at -10º F degrees

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER VIRTUALLY WITNESSED

degrees fahrenheit degrees

iamtemporarytoday:

teatray-inthesky:

comicsncoolshit:

a bubble freezing at -10º F degrees

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER VIRTUALLY WITNESSED

degrees fahrenheit degrees

(via allonsy-mywayward-sociopath)




congalineofdurin:





dear god, let it be enough

congalineofdurin:

image

image

image

image

dear god, let it be enough

(via mylifeissocoollike)


r4yquaza:

shavingryansprivates:

i think it’s funny that most of the grunge bloggers weren’t even alive at the same time as kurt cobain

I think it’s funny that most of the text bloggers weren’t even alive at the same time as when anglo-frisian dialects were brought to britain by germanic invaders

(via pizzapartyforone)


zaynshair2k14:

bringingthetruthback:

tinalikesbutts:

So when boys want to wear tank tops, it’s okay, but when I want to do it, it’s indecent and my shoulders are going to give every boy in a 20-mile radius a boner?

if your underage and its a professional environment, wear professional clothing. women have sexual organs on their top half, men don’t, don’t you know biology??

breasts aren’t sexual organs and neither are shoulders do everyone a favor staple your hands to your ass

(via christineisafox)


whyamiamusicmajor:

ahappygirl:

One time when my music theory professor was a student in college, he had to accompany an extremely rude soprano for a recital. She treated him like dirt during rehearsals. Just before going on to perform, she made some really snide remark to him that ticked him off, so he transposed the piece up a half step. She cracked three times.

Always be nice to your accompanists, folks.

There is a special place in hell for people that are rude to their accompanists

(via elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey)


xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

(via instantezra)


fuckyeahthe1960s:

George Harrison in India, 1965

fuckyeahthe1960s:

George Harrison in India, 1965

(via the-stairway-to-jimmy-page)